Divine Worth: An Interview with Author Kimberly Coots

Today I have the great pleasure of being the host on Day 13 of the Virtual Blog Tour of author Kimberly Coots whose book DIVINE WORTH - Break the Bonds of Unworthiness and Create the Life You Desire! launches on Amazon on Tuesday May 24, 2011.

Author Kimberly Ann Coots is a transformational life coach, business development coach and speaker. Her passion is to help shift humanity's consciousness from fear, lack and separation, to love, connection and abundance. Through her coaching, courses, speaking and books, Kimberly is a guide to transforming unworthiness conditioning, stepping into your power and living a life you love. She is certified in many holistic and spiritual modalities. She has been ordained as a Spiritual Peace Minister by James Twyman, is a certified Reconnection Healer by Dr. Eric Pearl and is a Facilitator for the Seminary of Spiritual Peacemaking. As a successful business development specialist, Kimberly also helps entrepreneurs make a profit and a difference.

Yesterday, Kimberly visited Jaki Bent at http://jakisblog.com/jakis-blog/ where Kimberly talked about most common ways unworthiness shows up, is ego connected, addictions and self-worth replacing unworthiness.

Today, I'd like to share with you a recent interview I had with Kimberly when I got to ask her some questions on signs of unworthiness, challenges people have with unworthiness, playing small when really one wants to play big and #1 way for people to transform their worth. I hope you enjoy it.

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Andrea Hylen: In your book, “Divine Worth” you talk about unworthiness. Can you describe some of the signs that we are experiencing unworthiness?

Kimberly Coots: We aren’t always conscious that unworthiness is sabotaging our happiness.  Some of the signs or “masks” that unworthiness wears are:

•            Addiction

•            Busy-ness

•            Trying to live up to the expectations of others, even if it doesn’t make you happy

•            People-pleasing to gain love and acceptance

•            Not allowing yourself to receive

•            Self-limiting beliefs and patterns

•            Being critical of yourself and/or others

•            Distracting yourself from admitting you’re really not happy (addiction plays into this too)

•            Procrastination

Andrea Hylen: Why do you feel so many people have challenges with their worthiness?

Kimberly Coots: Many of us are conditioned with unworthiness throughout our life.  As children, we’re very impressionable and we tend to base our worth or value on the actions of others and how they treat us.  Self-limiting beliefs are formed from these experiences, because we don’t really understand at a young age (and sometimes even as adults) that other people’s actions do not define our value or worth.

As a society, we’ve created a “worthiness mold” in a sense that suggests that we have to look a certain way, achieve certain accomplishments and have material wealth and status to be worthy.  It’s portrayed in television, the media and in advertisements.

Throughout human history, our culture has played a role in unworthiness conditioning through the caste systems, slavery and even religion.  Some religions portray us as sinners and God as angry or vengeful.  If you believe your Creator to be judgmental of you, how worthy do you think you’ll feel?

The good news is that we can transform this unworthiness conditioning.  The first step is becoming aware of it.

Andrea Hylen: Why do you think so many people play small even when they feel an inner calling to express their unique gifts in the world?

Kimberly Coots: I love this question!  People play small despite their inner calling for several reasons – including:

* The fear that answering that inner calling will cause them to lose the love and acceptance that the ego so desperately wants, if others don’t approve of the inner calling.

* The inner calling may not fit into the worthiness mold society dictates.  If you’re giving up a high-paying corporate job to follow an inner calling that doesn’t appear to be as successful, there is a fear of losing worthiness.

* Their unworthiness conditioning causes them to believe they’re not good enough to follow or achieve that inner calling.

* They think they’re in this all on their own and they forget that our inner calling is divine – and divinely supported.

Andrea Hylen: How can we free ourselves from unworthiness and follow an inner calling?

Kimberly Coots: Realize that worthiness doesn’t have to be proved – it already exists within you and is waiting to be claimed and celebrated. Practice living from your heart, rather than the head or ego.  Remember that you are a divine being and you are divinely supported.  You’re not in this life all on your own.

Read my book Divine Worth and practice the 25+ exercises I share with you to help you transform unworthiness conditioning and create a life that you love!

Andrea Hylen: What is the #1 way for people to transform their worth?

Kimberly Coots:  Transform self-limiting beliefs – this has the powerful to shift your reality and how you see and experience yourself and the world.

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I hope you enjoyed this interview with Kimberly Coots and that you’ll check out her book DIVINE WORTH - Break the Bonds of Unworthiness and Create the Life You Desire! at http://divineworth.com/book-launch/pages/pre-launch.html  

Here's why:

FREE 3-DAY PASS

When you visit the page at the link above and request a "launch reminder", you will automatically receive a FREE pass to Kimberly's 3-day "Discover Our Divine Worth Telesummit" with 9 leading authors, Coaches and Speakers on How You are ALREADY Worth Enough to Create The Life You Desire.  You can listen to the telesummit online in the comfort of your own home, and even ask questions during the broadcast.

This telesummit is a completely free
"no purchase necessary" gift from Kimberly

FREE GIFTS

When you buy Kimberly's book on Tuesday May 24, 2011, you can ALSO receive a complete library of beautiful personal development gifts from authors, speakers, coaches and other enlightened professionals from around the globe including one from me:

Audio and eBook: The Power of Self-Love

To claim your 3-Day Pass and read about the free gifts, go to: http://divineworth.com/book-launch/pages/pre-launch.html

Thanks for reading! As usual, please feel free to share your comments and thoughts below. I love reading your feedback.

AND… be sure to follow Kimberly tomorrow when the next stop on the Virtual Blog Tour is Shelagh Jones, who will be interviewing Kimberly on “Can you REALLY write a book in 21 days? Kimberly did -and she tells Shelagh exactly how in this fascinating 15-minute interview!” To visit that "stop" on the tour, go to http://SpiritualMarketing-Blog.com/law-of-attraction/divine-worth-by-kimberly-ann-coots/

Develop Self-Love and Discover Your Own True Path in Life

We have all been placed on earth to discover our own path. We will never be happy if we live someone else's idea of life. ~James Van Praagh.

The best way to discover your own path is to develop a relationship with yourself, to cultivate self-love and to spend time in solitude.

There is a brilliant five minute video called, "How to be alone." Filmed by Andrea Dorfman and written and performed by poet/singer/songwriter, Tanya Davis, it explores the idea of nurturing and developing the skill of being alone.

We are not really taught that it is okay to be alone."You'll find, it's fine to be alone once you're embracing it" a quote from the video.

Tanya suggests we start by making a list of acceptable places to be alone. The bathroom, the coffee shop, the library. Prayer and meditation are more acceptable places.Then, her poem invites you to take yourself to dinner with linens and silverware. Take yourself dancing and dance like no one is watching.
In one of the scenes she is sitting on a bench alone and opens you to the idea of how this creates a space for an unexpected conversation. She says, "It may never have happened, if you weren't there sitting by yourself."

More quotes from the film, "If you're happy in your head, then solitude is best and alone is okay. It doesn't mean you're not connected.Take silence and respect it."

There is a tendency to look outside of ourselves to fill time that could be spent alone.

During the last year, I spent many hours in solitude. Walking on the beach, sitting in coffee shops by myself, going to plays in small theaters and finding the joy in getting to know myself better. I have more clarity, joy, wisdom and feel a sense of grounded freedom. I encourage everyone to go on this journey with themselves. You are a magnificent being. Open to this discovery.

There is a wave of self-love appearing in events and on the internet. The Agape Spiritual Center in Los Angeles sponsors an event on Valentine's Day with music, conversation, good food and hand massages. Self-love is encouraged and celebrated.

"The deep love you seek starts and ends with the love you have for you" ~Christine Arylo
Feb 13 has been declared an annual celebration called, Madly in Love with Me Day. Some of the suggestions for developing self-love first:

• Love yourself, all of you, especially the parts hard to love
• Settle for nothing less than your heart and soul desire
• Have only relationships full of unconditional love and respect
• Be nice to yourself (stop being so hard on you!) Develop compassion for who you are.
• Take care of yourself, without guilt (you give from the overflow)

Let's all send ourselves pure unconditional love and open to the true path we are guided to follow. Knowing yourself will heal inner loneliness and the fear of loneliness.

Open to the gift of who you are and Celebrate!

Creating Environments for Children to Learn About Loving Themselves

On Valentine’s Day, many women hope that their true love will appear in their lives with candy, flowers, a dinner reservation and a flowery card professing love to them. Then, the story goes, they will be truly valued, have worth and be loved. For some people, this is a holiday that feels like a death because once again, there is no one arriving on their doorstep with gifts of love. They may put on a brave face about it, but at some point,in almost every woman’s life she has experienced her worth based on someone else loving or not loving her.

Somehow, as a society, I think we have missed the opportunity to create environments for our children to learn the path of self-love. To create environments where they feel encouraged to discover things about themselves and have the opportunity to either fail or succeed, as a life exploration.

Almost every morning, I wake up with a song playing in my head. I lay in bed and I listen to the words. It is the springboard for my day. It is a clue and a message of what is stirring within me. I have learned to listen and to learn.

The song this morning was a Stevie Wonder song called As. The words begin: 

As around the sun the earth knows she's revolving

And the rosebuds know to bloom in early May,

Just as hate knows love's the cure,

You can rest your mind assured, 

That I'll be loving you always.

The song was released in 1976 during a time when I was healing my heart. I felt lost not knowing what was next for me. I was working as a maid, a summer job in between my 1^st and 2^nd year of college. It was the perfect job for me. Hard work and lots of time by myself to reflect on my life. Phil Donahue was the talk show host I listened to, as I changed the bed sheets and cleaned the bathrooms at the hotel.

One of the things I love about this song, is the way I feel about it. When I heard the song this morning, I felt so much love for myself. It is a love song I have sung to myself, professing my love and telling myself, I'll be loving you always. 

Looking back to the beginning of early grade school, I can see a conditioning when we ask children who their boyfriend or girlfriend is. Or we validate their exclamation about the love of their life. They are rewarded for having this love relationship. Sharing Valentine’s in grade school. There is an expectation.

How often does an adult ask a child, how is your self-love going? How is that relationship right now? Are you spending enough time nurturing yourself?

I had a boyfriend in the first grade who gave me a bubble gum ring. I also played wedding in the neighborhood. I remember throwing my shoe at a boy I had professed love to and we were having a pretend wedding. I am not sure why I got angry and ran away from the pretend wedding ceremony, but maybe deep down inside I knew that something was missing.

As crazy as this may sound, I did not go to my 5 year high school reunion because I was not engaged or married. I had graduated from college, I had a full-time job I loved. I was living with my boyfriend of almost three years, but I wasn’t engaged. And for some crazy reason, I thought I had not accomplished enough to go back to high school for a reunion. I did not value myself enough. In this moment, I have so much compassion for myself that I had so little self-love at that point to think that.

In every transition in my life, the end of my first marriage, the autoimmune condition I had, the loss of loved ones and all of the every day challenges, the path to recovery and healing has always been self-love.

I think we need a movement of self-love in grade school and talk about nurturing that relationship, then spreading the love to be of service in the world. The romantic love will develop later as a natural part of life. We don't need to encourage it with young children.

I proclaim a self-love movement now!

Reverence and Living Life

In case, you are new to the blog, here is a brief summary: I am on a journey with my apartment. Will we generate the money to stay here or will we have to leave? I have been honoring my sisters (and now brothers) who have blessed me with prayer, money and resources to continue my sacred work.

On the second day of gratitude to the Sisterhood of Blessings, I stood at the altar and prayed from deep within my heart for the women who stepped forward in support. In the moment of prayer, I saw another gift in my life. The opportunity to create a sacred space and honor others.

Living in a variety of places for the last year, with little space for creating an altar, I had forgotten the power of having a space to kneel or stand in prayer. When I lived in Baltimore, people told me my house smelled like a church. I had several spaces for altars and burning candles. I am so grateful for this opportunity to light candles, say an inspired prayer and see the essence of each woman. It is a powerful gift and I receive it with wide open arms.

We are all brilliant shining lights at the core of who we are. We are Divine Essence.When I see the essence of a person, I can feel my heart expand with love. And that love fills me, as I radiate it back to the world.

I am feeling the reverence for everything in my life. The range of feelings, the life events, the people and their spirits that appear throughout my day. I am living life consciously.

Below is the letter from a woman who felt the honoring. She sent this to a variety of e-mail lists. I share this with you as part of the journey:

"Greetings Wonderful Women!

I am moved to share some thoughts about support. After Andrea's first blog post (and one tiny reference to it on Facebook), I called her and encouraged her to spread a wider net so more people could be given the opportunity to support her.

I read her blog and donated with the 'easy' button. I sent the donation with no expectations other than being happy to support a sister. I was surprised and delighted when I received a "Day One- Gratitude" post from her and yesterday brought a "Day Two" post.

This wonderful woman was moved to create ritual and give support to all of us who are helping her. She sets specific intentions for each day. She is weaving a customized, as spirit moves her, evolving energetic support for us. WOW.

When we light a candle in a church, we give a donation. When we ask for a mass to be said, we make a donation to the church. We give donations for blessings and ceremonies. It is an exchange of energies. I love that this process has evolved from Andrea's call for support. I love that what she began with the Conscious Choices book process, the altar, the ritual, is continuing now for creating a new chapter in her life. I love that I am a beneficiary of her faith and love.

How many years have we been saying that we create our realities? How long have we been talking about the shift to new economies and structures? Andrea is living the shift. Her living it 'out loud', talking about it is stirring up a lot. A dear friend who believes in Andrea voiced fear for her, saying that 'people don't get paid for what Andrea does'. As long as we live within these beliefs and with these fears, that will continue to be our reality.

I know Andrea is a wayshower. I know that she is living the edge we have anticipated. I know that most of us are having HUGE issues to deal with, whether it be health, family or finances, and for some of us all areas are being taxed. I think that the only way we can all get to the other side is to end the silence and ask for the help we need. Fear and shame stop everything- growth, action, creation and love.
I believe in Andrea.

Thank you for the space to voice these thoughts. Blessings.
Karen"

Open to the journey, my loves. Dance with the adventure of life. Feel all of the feelings.

In gratitude,
Andrea

Creating Sacred Space

(The picture is the sacred jar of stories and altar I created during the writing of the book Conscious Choices: An Evolutionary Woman's Guide to Life. It was created to honor each woman's voice.)

I am in a deep process of change. Opening to the experience of possibilities for a living space with my daughter. Will we be able to stay in our apt or will we be moving soon? It is a day to day exploration.

The first night I received donations on this blog, I felt love and support. The love offerings from women, many of whom are living moment to moment financially themselves, filled me with gratitude. I sent love to each woman, heart to heart.

I created an altar space and wrote each woman's name on an index card and placed it in a gift bag. Around the bag, I added candles, an angel holding a lamp, a golden quartz crystal, goddess cards, and symbols of gratitude and support. I lit the candles and stood in front of the altar saying a heartfelt blessing for them all.

Maybe the instinct to do this comes from my mother and her lessons on writing thank you notes throughout my childhood. Maybe it comes from a soul connection to honoring and ritual. Whatever it is, the instinct to do this is as natural as breathing, sleeping and eating to me.

At the end of the night, I sent an e-mail titled Day 1: A gratitude blessing. These are the words I shared with the women:

Blessings to you all,

This morning, my Divine assignment was to step into clarity and asking. When the first gift arrived, I could feel another step on this sacred journey.

I was awakened the other morning with the words in my heart, "We have to let go of things in the way we know them." I rolled the words in my mind and they came again. As I reached in the dark for paper and pen to write them down, I heard, "It is time to walk through the looking glass." I lay back down and asked to be shown more and I saw a shimmering field like a stargate and I could see through it. I was told again, it is time to walk through it and I could see a whole world of people on the other side. It felt like leaving one world to enter another, like a paradigm shift.

This was the day after going to the courthouse to fill out paperwork to respond to the eviction.

I will continue blogging with each guided step. I am intrigued by the journey and curious as to the deeper learning and teaching emerge.

I have created an altar of gratitude and have placed each of your names there. I am saying a special prayer blessing that your gift is multiplied and returned to you tenfold. Be ready for unexpected blessings...

In deep love, honoring and gratitude,
Andrea


More to the unfolding story in the blog tomorrow...

We are never given a Divine Assignment without...

There's an opportunity to view what looks like a problem to us, as we would view a child’s difficulties. When we can see a child’s difficulties from the adult perspective, we know the child will get past it. We know that with new learning and understanding we get a bigger paradigm. ~Mary Manin Morrissey

We only get what we can handle. We are never given a Divine Assignment without receiving the support we need. Have you ever had an experience where even though you know that the last two statements are true, you want to throw your hands up to the heavens and say, "ENOUGH ALREADY!"

In case you have not been following the last few blogs, I am in the process of creating a financial bridge from now until April 2011. The bridge is necessary because although I am working, I will not receive the next flow of money until March or April. It is the nature of the work I am in at the moment. I have a trickle of money from social media clients and counseling clients who can pay me. But, the larger projects...(links to the first two blogs are at the end of this blog.)


I want to share some of the support that has shown up for me in the last two weeks of this journey.


1. Kathryn Yarborough: Kathryn and I have been collaborating together for the past six months and are about to launch a collaborative community project that will support people emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally and for some, financially. She keeps me connected and focused on my life purpose.


2. Anna Stookey: Anna and I have been book support buddies for over two years. She listens, supports, and helps me find the answers that are inside of me.


3. Ann Taylor: www.innerhealing.com A healer who offers free calls and healings at least once a week. She is on free tele-summits, radio shows and has a free healing audio on her website.


4. A blessing call appeared through an e-mail. A free astrology update from a friend (Saturn is on my Sun until March 24- for the astrology lovers)


5. Liz Draman: www.lizdraman.com Liz decided to offer a 30 day challenge of the Violet Flame and has offered free tele-seminars almost every night since Feb 1 with healing meditations and community support.


6. My buddy in an Enwaken program who does energy readings on me once a week. I serve her and she serves me.


7. Agape Spiritual Center Services are on-line and FREE! http://agapelive.com/


8. Grandmother Speaks Blessing at the beach. http://grandmothersspeak.com/netoflight.php


9. LaVonne Rees, the creator of http://www.waterconvergence.com/ offered a walk on the beach with an hour discussion about possibilities which helped me to find the next steps.


10. A free download from Jean Houston talking about our Higher Purpose http://purposeanddestiny.net/download/

11. Prayers and words of encouragement and financial blessings from women who believe in me!

12. Seminarian Students and The Beloved Community and the reminder of my purpose daily.


13. A community at the local coffeeshop.


14. Numerous inspirations on Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, BlogTalk Radio and through e-mail.


So, if you are going through a challenging time, my first suggestion is to find something or someone in your life who is demonstrating the God presence of support. You may or may not have a strong community around you at this time. I remember 25 years ago, leaving my first marriage with no support from family and friends. But, even then, there were simple messages that appeared to tell me to keep going, it would get better, I was strong enough, I would survive and look back at this time as amazing. 


Some of my strongest emotional muscles were developed during that time and they have served me well in many situations, including now.


So, look around you and see the God presence of support.


1. A flower blooming, a tree, a bird flying or anything else that demonstrates Mother Nature's presence in your life. 


2. The smile from a stranger.


3. A bumper sticker or license plate sending you a message of blessings.

4. Unexpected support from someone.


5. A new idea.


6. And after spending time processing your situation, your feelings, the soul calling, turn your attention to the possibility of something shifting now.


Even when we may not feel support from a large community. Even when the support does not immediately change our circumstances. Even when we think we are out of hope or options:

We Are Never Given a Divine Assignment Without Receiving the Support We Need. 

Listen for the inner guidance on what to do next everyday and then Take Action! I believe in you!

The Blog Links for Face to Face with an Eviction and The Power of Surrendering to Feelings of Terror and Fear.


(Blog 1: http://livingontheedgeblog.wordpress.com/2011/02/02/face-to-face-with-eviction/
Blog 2: http://calltoinspiration.blogspot.com/2011/02/power-of-surrendering-to-feelings-of.html)

The power of surrendering to the feelings of fear and terror

I woke up in sheer terror on Saturday morning. This is an unusual experience for me. I experience a wide range of emotion but rarely terror. I took out my bag of tools. Violet flame and working with St. Germaine. Listening to Ann Taylor from www.innerhealing.com about releasing old patterns. More inspirational speakers and music. I worked with the energy for over an hour and then I surrendered. I surrendered to the intense feeling of terror that would not leave and I began to embrace it as a teacher.

First, I explored the thoughts that had been pouring into my brain. The theme was decisions and safety. If Hannah and I have to move where will we go? We have a car and a half of personal belongings, and Hannah's bed and dresser. Do we go back to Baltimore and stay with friends? Is there a place that Hannah can stay in California without me for a few months? Is there a place I can stay in California to lick my wounds and recover? Is there a place for both of us and our two cats.

I feel like I am Kevin Costner in the Field of Dreams in the scene at the end of the film when the brother-in-law is yelling at him to sell the property and the young daughter is saying that people will come. And then Earl Ray Jones speech where he says, people will come, Ray, people will come.

I ask myself, "When is trusting a fantasy and when is trusting a walk of faith?"

I spent about two hours in surrendered process. Meditation, journaling, took a shower, focused on the day and drove to Long Beach, CA for a ceremony at the beach. In the ceremony, there were prayers, song, a community of women, heart chocolate, and a meditation. After receiving a blessing of Empowerment with hugs from each of the women, a friend of mine led a simple water blessing. I stood by the water feeling bathed in love and a flow of healing from me to the water and from the water back to me. The two hour ceremony was based on the Net of Light from Grandmothers Speak. http://grandmothersspeak.com/netoflight.php

On the drive to Long Beach, an insight came. I could see my radio show that had been bubbling in my mind for Feb 14 and the idea of Self-Love. The title came, "Loving Yourself When Everything Appears to Be Falling Apart." I began to see how the experience of terror was something to talk about, write about and to discover the nurturing we must do for ourselves even in the midst of chaos. I have been blessed this week to receive healings and blessings every day this week. I feel supported and loved by the Universe in this experience and I am discovering a rich pool of treasures.

At the beach, a friend offered to walk and listen to the thoughts that were swirling in my head. She held a sacred space and read the energy of infinite possibilities. She was unattached to my choices and decisions. She reflected words that came to her. We processed the deep calling my daughter and I had to travel to California. We felt into the energy of moving back to Baltimore and staying in California. After 45 minutes of holding the space, we both agreed. I have work to do that provides a service and I need a space to do that. I have work I am doing that is generating money for the future. My daughter's reconnection with life after moving through a mild depression is important for both of us. I need to find a bridge of support to stay here in this apartment. It was clear.

To do that, I need to generate $4,400. For now, there is a paypal button on this blog. If you are called to donate, and to even think of it as buying me lunch or a cup of coffee and a muffin, the paypal button makes it easy. My friend talked about her daily cup of coffee and breakfast at Starbucks times two. One for her and one for the man she passes on the way to work. She encouraged me to write and post this blog in a variety of places and to allow people to love and support me.

All is well. I appreciate the words and the prayers. 

Tomorrow, I will post some of the work I do for money. Spread the word if it calls to you.

Blessings on this journey of transition all over the World.

Link to blog about an Eviction Process:

http://livingontheedgeblog.wordpress.com/2011/02/02/face-to-face-with-eviction/