Creating Sacred Space

(The picture is the sacred jar of stories and altar I created during the writing of the book Conscious Choices: An Evolutionary Woman's Guide to Life. It was created to honor each woman's voice.)

I am in a deep process of change. Opening to the experience of possibilities for a living space with my daughter. Will we be able to stay in our apt or will we be moving soon? It is a day to day exploration.

The first night I received donations on this blog, I felt love and support. The love offerings from women, many of whom are living moment to moment financially themselves, filled me with gratitude. I sent love to each woman, heart to heart.

I created an altar space and wrote each woman's name on an index card and placed it in a gift bag. Around the bag, I added candles, an angel holding a lamp, a golden quartz crystal, goddess cards, and symbols of gratitude and support. I lit the candles and stood in front of the altar saying a heartfelt blessing for them all.

Maybe the instinct to do this comes from my mother and her lessons on writing thank you notes throughout my childhood. Maybe it comes from a soul connection to honoring and ritual. Whatever it is, the instinct to do this is as natural as breathing, sleeping and eating to me.

At the end of the night, I sent an e-mail titled Day 1: A gratitude blessing. These are the words I shared with the women:

Blessings to you all,

This morning, my Divine assignment was to step into clarity and asking. When the first gift arrived, I could feel another step on this sacred journey.

I was awakened the other morning with the words in my heart, "We have to let go of things in the way we know them." I rolled the words in my mind and they came again. As I reached in the dark for paper and pen to write them down, I heard, "It is time to walk through the looking glass." I lay back down and asked to be shown more and I saw a shimmering field like a stargate and I could see through it. I was told again, it is time to walk through it and I could see a whole world of people on the other side. It felt like leaving one world to enter another, like a paradigm shift.

This was the day after going to the courthouse to fill out paperwork to respond to the eviction.

I will continue blogging with each guided step. I am intrigued by the journey and curious as to the deeper learning and teaching emerge.

I have created an altar of gratitude and have placed each of your names there. I am saying a special prayer blessing that your gift is multiplied and returned to you tenfold. Be ready for unexpected blessings...

In deep love, honoring and gratitude,
Andrea


More to the unfolding story in the blog tomorrow...

We are never given a Divine Assignment without...

There's an opportunity to view what looks like a problem to us, as we would view a child’s difficulties. When we can see a child’s difficulties from the adult perspective, we know the child will get past it. We know that with new learning and understanding we get a bigger paradigm. ~Mary Manin Morrissey

We only get what we can handle. We are never given a Divine Assignment without receiving the support we need. Have you ever had an experience where even though you know that the last two statements are true, you want to throw your hands up to the heavens and say, "ENOUGH ALREADY!"

In case you have not been following the last few blogs, I am in the process of creating a financial bridge from now until April 2011. The bridge is necessary because although I am working, I will not receive the next flow of money until March or April. It is the nature of the work I am in at the moment. I have a trickle of money from social media clients and counseling clients who can pay me. But, the larger projects...(links to the first two blogs are at the end of this blog.)


I want to share some of the support that has shown up for me in the last two weeks of this journey.


1. Kathryn Yarborough: Kathryn and I have been collaborating together for the past six months and are about to launch a collaborative community project that will support people emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally and for some, financially. She keeps me connected and focused on my life purpose.


2. Anna Stookey: Anna and I have been book support buddies for over two years. She listens, supports, and helps me find the answers that are inside of me.


3. Ann Taylor: www.innerhealing.com A healer who offers free calls and healings at least once a week. She is on free tele-summits, radio shows and has a free healing audio on her website.


4. A blessing call appeared through an e-mail. A free astrology update from a friend (Saturn is on my Sun until March 24- for the astrology lovers)


5. Liz Draman: www.lizdraman.com Liz decided to offer a 30 day challenge of the Violet Flame and has offered free tele-seminars almost every night since Feb 1 with healing meditations and community support.


6. My buddy in an Enwaken program who does energy readings on me once a week. I serve her and she serves me.


7. Agape Spiritual Center Services are on-line and FREE! http://agapelive.com/


8. Grandmother Speaks Blessing at the beach. http://grandmothersspeak.com/netoflight.php


9. LaVonne Rees, the creator of http://www.waterconvergence.com/ offered a walk on the beach with an hour discussion about possibilities which helped me to find the next steps.


10. A free download from Jean Houston talking about our Higher Purpose http://purposeanddestiny.net/download/

11. Prayers and words of encouragement and financial blessings from women who believe in me!

12. Seminarian Students and The Beloved Community and the reminder of my purpose daily.


13. A community at the local coffeeshop.


14. Numerous inspirations on Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, BlogTalk Radio and through e-mail.


So, if you are going through a challenging time, my first suggestion is to find something or someone in your life who is demonstrating the God presence of support. You may or may not have a strong community around you at this time. I remember 25 years ago, leaving my first marriage with no support from family and friends. But, even then, there were simple messages that appeared to tell me to keep going, it would get better, I was strong enough, I would survive and look back at this time as amazing. 


Some of my strongest emotional muscles were developed during that time and they have served me well in many situations, including now.


So, look around you and see the God presence of support.


1. A flower blooming, a tree, a bird flying or anything else that demonstrates Mother Nature's presence in your life. 


2. The smile from a stranger.


3. A bumper sticker or license plate sending you a message of blessings.

4. Unexpected support from someone.


5. A new idea.


6. And after spending time processing your situation, your feelings, the soul calling, turn your attention to the possibility of something shifting now.


Even when we may not feel support from a large community. Even when the support does not immediately change our circumstances. Even when we think we are out of hope or options:

We Are Never Given a Divine Assignment Without Receiving the Support We Need. 

Listen for the inner guidance on what to do next everyday and then Take Action! I believe in you!

The Blog Links for Face to Face with an Eviction and The Power of Surrendering to Feelings of Terror and Fear.


(Blog 1: http://livingontheedgeblog.wordpress.com/2011/02/02/face-to-face-with-eviction/
Blog 2: http://calltoinspiration.blogspot.com/2011/02/power-of-surrendering-to-feelings-of.html)

The power of surrendering to the feelings of fear and terror

I woke up in sheer terror on Saturday morning. This is an unusual experience for me. I experience a wide range of emotion but rarely terror. I took out my bag of tools. Violet flame and working with St. Germaine. Listening to Ann Taylor from www.innerhealing.com about releasing old patterns. More inspirational speakers and music. I worked with the energy for over an hour and then I surrendered. I surrendered to the intense feeling of terror that would not leave and I began to embrace it as a teacher.

First, I explored the thoughts that had been pouring into my brain. The theme was decisions and safety. If Hannah and I have to move where will we go? We have a car and a half of personal belongings, and Hannah's bed and dresser. Do we go back to Baltimore and stay with friends? Is there a place that Hannah can stay in California without me for a few months? Is there a place I can stay in California to lick my wounds and recover? Is there a place for both of us and our two cats.

I feel like I am Kevin Costner in the Field of Dreams in the scene at the end of the film when the brother-in-law is yelling at him to sell the property and the young daughter is saying that people will come. And then Earl Ray Jones speech where he says, people will come, Ray, people will come.

I ask myself, "When is trusting a fantasy and when is trusting a walk of faith?"

I spent about two hours in surrendered process. Meditation, journaling, took a shower, focused on the day and drove to Long Beach, CA for a ceremony at the beach. In the ceremony, there were prayers, song, a community of women, heart chocolate, and a meditation. After receiving a blessing of Empowerment with hugs from each of the women, a friend of mine led a simple water blessing. I stood by the water feeling bathed in love and a flow of healing from me to the water and from the water back to me. The two hour ceremony was based on the Net of Light from Grandmothers Speak. http://grandmothersspeak.com/netoflight.php

On the drive to Long Beach, an insight came. I could see my radio show that had been bubbling in my mind for Feb 14 and the idea of Self-Love. The title came, "Loving Yourself When Everything Appears to Be Falling Apart." I began to see how the experience of terror was something to talk about, write about and to discover the nurturing we must do for ourselves even in the midst of chaos. I have been blessed this week to receive healings and blessings every day this week. I feel supported and loved by the Universe in this experience and I am discovering a rich pool of treasures.

At the beach, a friend offered to walk and listen to the thoughts that were swirling in my head. She held a sacred space and read the energy of infinite possibilities. She was unattached to my choices and decisions. She reflected words that came to her. We processed the deep calling my daughter and I had to travel to California. We felt into the energy of moving back to Baltimore and staying in California. After 45 minutes of holding the space, we both agreed. I have work to do that provides a service and I need a space to do that. I have work I am doing that is generating money for the future. My daughter's reconnection with life after moving through a mild depression is important for both of us. I need to find a bridge of support to stay here in this apartment. It was clear.

To do that, I need to generate $4,400. For now, there is a paypal button on this blog. If you are called to donate, and to even think of it as buying me lunch or a cup of coffee and a muffin, the paypal button makes it easy. My friend talked about her daily cup of coffee and breakfast at Starbucks times two. One for her and one for the man she passes on the way to work. She encouraged me to write and post this blog in a variety of places and to allow people to love and support me.

All is well. I appreciate the words and the prayers. 

Tomorrow, I will post some of the work I do for money. Spread the word if it calls to you.

Blessings on this journey of transition all over the World.

Link to blog about an Eviction Process:

http://livingontheedgeblog.wordpress.com/2011/02/02/face-to-face-with-eviction/

The inspiration to host 44 Grief Transformation Radio Shows Nov 21, 2010-Jan 7, 2011

An inspiration bubbled up from within me in November that led to coordinating and hosting the 44 shows. The idea emerged out of a heartfelt desire to provide a place of information, sharing and support over the holiday season. Through my own personal experiences of losing a brother, son, husband, friends and pets, as well as the loss of my first marriage to divorce and a life threatening illness, I have learned about the ups and downs in grieving and the opportunity to heal and transform a life. Sharing my own stories and finding other people who were willing to share their stories was the focus of 44 radio shows between Nov 21, 2010 and Jan 7, 2011. 

On the day of the last show, I was sitting quietly letting my mind wander to the beginning of this idea. What was it that led me to the first show on Nov 21?

The root of it began 50 years ago when my brother died of SIDS. And maybe there were more losses even earlier, but I can trace it back to that moment of the loss and disappearance and lack of conversation around the baby.

And since then each step, each experience of loss and joy and healing and loss and joy and healing wove a story that emerged as 44 radio shows.

I want to talk about honoring the deep calling from within that calls us to step into a greater part of ourselves.

I was thinking back to when I first received the inspiration to host a Grief Transformation Radio Show over the holidays. It was one of those moments I know we have all had, a wake-up call in the middle of the night to do something or be something. And when the call from the inspired place within emerges, there is a knowing that this is something that demands deeper listening. The first night it arrived, I was curious. I remember thinking what would that look like. Originally, I thought I was going to record a series of articles I wrote about grief transformation, 33 nights of reading to be a voice of love in the dark over the holidays.

When I was awakened the next evening, I imagined myself on the radio as a support. I had a heart expanding moment when I imagined who might listen to the calls. What I felt was heart break. I had a wave of emotion feeling the feelings of loss and grief. Remembering what it was like over the holidays when I was in a transition or had recently lost a loved one. In that moment I made the commitment to be on the shows.

Then, people showed up or names appeared in my mind of different losses. As I shared the idea, people offered or I asked them to be on the show.

From asking Kathryn about hosting the shows on our Living on the Edge channel, to posting the idea on Facebook, to scheduling guests and organizing topic shows, it has been an opportunity to transform and heal.

Michael Bernard Beckwith quote: God does not call the qualified. God qualifies the called.

The guests shared their stories, their journey and I shared mine and somehow in the midst of the conversations, I became a radio show host.

I know that every night, on every show, with each one guest, something in me was profoundly healed and a shift occurred. I know that from the Facebook “Likes” and posts and notes that were shared, this was occurring for others as well.

There are not enough thank you’s in the world for the gratitude and love I feel for each guest, for each comment of support, for each blessing and love sent. And for each listener who sent me a note letting me know the shows were making a difference in their lives.

And just as God, Spirit, a greater Source emerged through each guest, I experienced that, too. Over half of the guests had never been on a radio show. For many of them, the format of a conversation vs an interview was new and different. We played and weaved a powerful healing energy through words, passion, tears and laughter.

I feel new again, waiting for the next assignment, the next mission.

www.opentoinspiration.com 

Blogtalkradio.com/livingontheedge