An inspiration bubbled up from within me in November that led to coordinating and hosting the 44 shows. The idea emerged out of a heartfelt desire to provide a place of information, sharing and support over the holiday season. Through my own personal experiences of losing a brother, son, husband, friends and pets, as well as the loss of my first marriage to divorce and a life threatening illness, I have learned about the ups and downs in grieving and the opportunity to heal and transform a life. Sharing my own stories and finding other people who were willing to share their stories was the focus of 44 radio shows between Nov 21, 2010 and Jan 7, 2011.
On the day of the last show, I was sitting quietly letting my mind wander to the beginning of this idea. What was it that led me to the first show on Nov 21?
The root of it began 50 years ago when my brother died of SIDS. And maybe there were more losses even earlier, but I can trace it back to that moment of the loss and disappearance and lack of conversation around the baby.
And since then each step, each experience of loss and joy and healing and loss and joy and healing wove a story that emerged as 44 radio shows.
I want to talk about honoring the deep calling from within that calls us to step into a greater part of ourselves.
I was thinking back to when I first received the inspiration to host a Grief Transformation Radio Show over the holidays. It was one of those moments I know we have all had, a wake-up call in the middle of the night to do something or be something. And when the call from the inspired place within emerges, there is a knowing that this is something that demands deeper listening. The first night it arrived, I was curious. I remember thinking what would that look like. Originally, I thought I was going to record a series of articles I wrote about grief transformation, 33 nights of reading to be a voice of love in the dark over the holidays.
When I was awakened the next evening, I imagined myself on the radio as a support. I had a heart expanding moment when I imagined who might listen to the calls. What I felt was heart break. I had a wave of emotion feeling the feelings of loss and grief. Remembering what it was like over the holidays when I was in a transition or had recently lost a loved one. In that moment I made the commitment to be on the shows.
Then, people showed up or names appeared in my mind of different losses. As I shared the idea, people offered or I asked them to be on the show.
From asking Kathryn about hosting the shows on our Living on the Edge channel, to posting the idea on Facebook, to scheduling guests and organizing topic shows, it has been an opportunity to transform and heal.
Michael Bernard Beckwith quote: God does not call the qualified. God qualifies the called.
The guests shared their stories, their journey and I shared mine and somehow in the midst of the conversations, I became a radio show host.
I know that every night, on every show, with each one guest, something in me was profoundly healed and a shift occurred. I know that from the Facebook “Likes” and posts and notes that were shared, this was occurring for others as well.
There are not enough thank you’s in the world for the gratitude and love I feel for each guest, for each comment of support, for each blessing and love sent. And for each listener who sent me a note letting me know the shows were making a difference in their lives.
And just as God, Spirit, a greater Source emerged through each guest, I experienced that, too. Over half of the guests had never been on a radio show. For many of them, the format of a conversation vs an interview was new and different. We played and weaved a powerful healing energy through words, passion, tears and laughter.
I feel new again, waiting for the next assignment, the next mission.
